Ukraine and Ukrainians: Ukrainian hospitality and the rule of three days

Hello to the World! How is everyone doing? Is it warm/cold/humid/dry/sunny/windy/rainy/foggy in your part of the world? Human nature is always demanding something we don't have, do you agree? When it's cold we want warmth, when it warm we want it to be a bit cooler and so on. It can be an endless list. Today I was asked by an acquaintance of mine where did I like to be the best. Frankly speaking, this question puzzled me for a moment and I understood that while traveling we try to absorb so many things around us and of course we enjoy everything we see or experience. But how deep goes this "enjoyment"? How long does it stay with us? At this point, I came up to a conclusion that we are able to understand whether we liked some place only afterward and not just in a form of longing to come back there but in a more rational and profound way: we need time for all emotions to calm down and all thoughts to settle down. Has it ever happened to you that you didn't like some place and then after some time passed you actually started liking it and wished to come back there? Well, I can guarantee you that it will never happen to you if you visit Ukraine! You will like everything and at once )) Of course, I am kidding )) Though I am more than sure you will be conquered by Ukrainian hospitality! I cannot promise that you will experience it right in the airport since people that work in such places are usually not the most cheerful ones, but if you happen to stay with a family of Ukrainian friends, you will definitely feel like a family member from the very beginning of your visit. So you might think: "Why has she decided to write about something that can be put into one sentence "you will feel like a family member when visiting Ukrainian friends"? Because there is more to it than just "family member experience", in addition, do you know what it means to be treated like a family member in Ukraine? Exactly! That's a matter to be studied in a more detailed way! To intrigue you even more I will keep an explanation of the "three days rule" for later into today's story.
So, let's begin. In order to be a happy guest, you will need to know a couple of things about Ukrainian ........ TA DAAAH! TRADITIONS! Of course if you stay in a hotel you will miss all the fun in the world! Just think about it, if you were invited by a Ukrainian family to stay in their home, most likely they started preparing for your visit way ahead of your actual arrival. The cleaning starts at least a week before, it's in case they haven't started some kind of repair so that a house or an apartment looks great. Your room, most likely, will be cleaned at least to times, then I will be locked and nobody will be allowed to enter it until your arrival. All the bed sheets and towels will be carefully selected for you, thoroughly washed and ironed. The menu will be composed for each day of your stay, of course with some variations on the way, but if your friends already know what your preferences are they will definitely try to include them in the menu. Nuts, right? I told you! We take guests very seriously! I cannot guarantee you that all families are the same, people are hospitable in different ways but you will definitely be surrounded by attention and warmth. So where are the traditions you might wonder? Here they are! The first traditional and definitely unusual thing for any foreigner is taking off your shoes when you cross the home's threshold. I don't know where it comes from, I know that in the States people walk in their homes in whatever shoes they walk outside. When you enter a Ukrainian home you will notice "outside" footwear sitting somewhere near the door, inside, of course. I always wondered whether it's something we borrowed from Japanese )) On the other hand, you will notice that most homes have some pretty fancy carpets on the floors, so I guess it's the way to keep them clean. So when you will be offered slippers don't be surprised, we walk in them in our homes. We also have what we call "a guest pair of slippers", they are not used by anyone but guests.

I will start a new paragraph to tell you about food traditions. I've told you before that Ukrainians cook from a scratch and Ukrainian women are really good cooks. I know that some foreigners get overwhelmed when they see a Ukrainian table set for guest welcoming dinner. I promise you that the variety and quantity of dishes will surprise you. BUT! Not all dishes will be familiar to you. All kinds of meat, mashed potatoes, vegetable salads I will omit in my description, but I will focus on things that visually can be perceived as strange or very unusual. I've been asked by my foreign friends not once: I was offered something that looked like jello but had some lumps inside that looked like meat with parsley leaves on top. Well, my dear friends, you are quite right! It really was jellied meat with lumps of meat inside. It is a very traditional and popular dish in Ukraine. I know that in many countries jello is usually a dessert, in Ukraine it can be both. Moreover, we also have jellied fish! I never had it myself but I suppose it can be ok. Together with jellied meat, you will be offered horseradish and beetroot, the go really well together. Another dish that might look strange to you is blood sausage. Here I have to make another confession: I have never ever had it in my life, though it's very very traditional dish. In my family, my mom is the only person eating it. My dad and I stay away from this dish ))) So I can say that it's some kind of genetic imperception that I inherited from my dad ))) You will also notice on the table a couple of salads that are heavily dressed with mayonnaise. At the same time if you are from the States they will not look very strange to you since you have somewhat similar stuff like Potato salad or Macaroni salad. The difference would be the number and variety of ingredients. For instance, there is a salad that is known abroad as Russian salad. It consists of boiled eggs, meat (chicken or ham), boiled potato, pickled cucumber, canned green peas, onion, boiled carrot, some recipes also include grated fresh apple and of course some parsley. We like to joke that this salad is a soviet invention or, if to be accurate, it's a remake of a famous French classy recipe invented by French chef Mr. Olivier and consisted of grouse, veal tongue, caviar, lettuce, crayfish tails, capers, and smoked duck, the original Olivier dressing was a type of mayonnaise, made with French wine vinegar, mustard, and Provençal olive oil. Nothing in common with the version I described, right? Well, most of the ingredients from the original recipe were impossible to buy in soviet stores, so people came up with their substitutes if it would be correct to call them like that. Even in this very simplified version, this salad was still prepared mostly for very big celebrations like New Year dinner or family member birthday since even simplified ingredients were not that accessible in the stores. Nowadays, Russian salad or the way we call it Olivier salad is more common on our tables. I know that it's quite impossible to taste all the dishes you will see in front of you, but make sure that you left some room for a dessert. Here you can't go wrong at all )) So get ready! BUT! (again I'm trying to freak you out a bit) I know it's hard to do but keep in mind it's very important: try not to leave food on your plate. I mean, it's not like you have to swallow even chicken bones. No, no, no! But leaving half a piece of anything, or, what's the worst, not finishing your bread is not good. It's not like anyone will say anything to you, but I'm sure you will notice that most plates will have no food left on them. We went through many rough moments in our history, we went through two artificially created famines and the times when food stores had mostly water and pickled cucumbers on shelves. I guess for a couple of generations ahead it will be at the back of our heads even though today we have everything we can possibly think of in our stores. Bread has a peculiar place in our homes. Even if we have a surplus of it, we will make sure that it utilized this way or another. For instance, it will be dried out and turned into bread crumbs and used for cooking, or you will dry it out and give it to someone who keeps chickens, or you will put those crumbs into a bird feeder in winter. My great-grandmother would collect the crumbs from the table after lunch or dinner and make sure we give it to our chickens. I've heard from my peers that their grandparents would teach them that throwing bread away is a sin and it all comes from the experience of having nothing to eat during war times. I think that our hospitality reaches back to the times we had nothing at all but being always ready to share with others whatever we had.

What else to expect? Well, be ready to get some kind of attention from local people, especially if you came to visit friends in a small town or village. In big cities, people are busier and occupied with their own business. I remember when our friends from Germany came to visit us for the first time, all our neighbors were staring at them from their balconies (we live in a block of apartments as I've mentioned before) while they were unpacking their car. Later on, our friends asked us: Are all those people your relatives? They seemed very interested in us! We had to explain that it's one of the methods of staying informed in a small community: hanging out on your balcony. This way you can keep an eye on your kids playing in the yard, learn all news, enjoy fresh air, learn about prices in the neighborhood store and many other useful things.

If you were invited to become a part of some big celebration like a wedding, for example, you are double lucky! You might get involved in some pretty cool ceremonies and everyone at the party will know that you are THE foreign friend. I've been to a wedding where the most important guest was some relative from Canada. Everyone was informed about the Canadian guest at the stage of receiving the invitations. I don't really know why, but looked that the bride and the groom were very proud of this fact.

And now.... drum roll, please!... It's time for the Rule of Three Days! We like to joke that when a family member or a very close friend come to visit you and stay for a while they are treated like guests only first three days. It means that you won't be involved into any kind of chores during this time but when the 72 hour period is over you'd better be ready: doing dishes, vacuuming, shopping, walking the dog, feeding the chickens and whatnots! I hope I just gave you a good idea of exploiting the guests that stay in your house for a long time. You can always tell them that it's a very old tradition you've inherited from unknown Ukrainian ancestors! There is no way they will be able to check that ))) Of course I am kidding!!! Nobody will show up in your room with a mop and dirty dishes on the morning of the fourth day! In my family, we usually joke like that when we visit my grandfather, but in this case, this rule does not work at all and we start doing all the chores from the first minute. All my friends know that when they visit me they can feel free and do whatever they want including cooking, doing dishes, cleaning, and other fun stuff ))))

Frankly speaking, I had no idea that in English there is a saying about guests and three days: Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days. Looks like this concept is pretty international )))

When all is said and done, I wish all of you a great time of the day and never smell like a three-day fish ))

Behave!

Summer in Kyiv.